Bang Out of Order

I’m flying back from Chiang Mai today and I have about 7 hours to kill in Bangkok before the 1 hour trip to Phnom Penh.  I was here five days ago, taking in all of the sights, sounds, and smog this mega-city has to offer.  It’s like that inconsiderate boyfriend you keep getting back together with because you just don’t want to be alone. Yeah. It’s whack.

Maddi and I spent four days here under the impression that we’ve never really experienced Bangkok.  She was here on a semi-horrific hospital trip, and I just wanted to go shopping.  Four days is far too long.  The sun doesn’t shine here.  The light you see isn’t sunlight.  It’s the excrement of the perpetual brown overcast that’s had its fill of human souls, that there’s hardly any room for it to fully absorb sunshine.

For what it’s worth, there’s an infinite amount of wholesale fashion malls.  Put it this way, I spent less than $150 on clothing and wore outfits that I brought with me just twice in the last 10 days. Maddi had to leave a few clothing items behind to make room for her new stuff.

There’s also a Starbucks on every corner.  I’m sitting at one now. They have two options for internet: 2 hours or 1 day.  Yes, I’ve come from the land of free wifi to the land that charges to use everything from public restrooms to taking a picture with a lady boy.  Everyone’s really clever with how they charge for wifi.  They’re all hotspots that require a username and password.  And, to put it in perspective, a full day at my guesthouse: ฿30.  Two hours at Starbucks: ฿150.  But I’ll be damned if I don’t have a Pumpkin Spice Latte whilst complaining about Bangkok whilst in Bangkok.  They even give you a plastic-wrapped cardboard envelope that contains your username and password.  And it’s my username and password forever.

On a lighter note, I had a lovely cab driver bring me here from the airport.  He didn’t speak much English, but I told him I wanted to go to Starbucks, and said, “café.”  He didn’t fully understand and took me to the first coffee shop off the highway.  He did a little, “TA DA!” and said, “CAFÉ!”  Of course, he swindled me out of ฿50 when he finally dropped me off.  But, he was lovely for awhile.

Ok, lunch time. Peace out, Bangkok.

*Editors note: Dad would tell me that I’m lucky  that I get to travel and I should be more positive. To that, I say that yes, I am very lucky to be able to complain about this place.  Many people will not get to complain about it in their lifetimes*

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About Tavie Crockett

Like "Davy Crockett," but with a "T."
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